tebow.

so i read this article about tim tebow and it was so well written!  obviously tebow is a polarizing figure in american society right now and i think the author of this article is wise in seeing the cause for that polarization. so check it out. and then go do some tebowing.

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/Tim-Tebow-why-the-heck-do-we-hate-him-110211

mistletoe.

love me some j-biebs. 

though the rest of this cd is weird.

drummer boy + busta rhymes = really?

#ineedchristmasbreak

Married young.

I came across this the other day. It's from one of my fav rappers (trip lee) that i saw posted on his facebook page. (btw aust, you should check out his music videos bc he has some sick styles of clothes that are right up your alley)......... anyway back to Jesus.

It's from his blog and he talks about why he got married so young. (he's 23 and married at 21) He kept on getting asked that question and I can see why. I mean I feel like I have questioned those who have gotten married early in life by asking, "didn't you wanna live a little before you got married?" He's got a sick answers to all those questions, which really made me stop and think.

I won't steal his thunder by reiterating what he says in his blog, but the idea that stuck out to me was that being a single (and very available) man isn't the most fun I'm gonna have in my life. (which is hard to believe bc what could be better than bromance?) Our culture says that you gotta get your thrill in now bc once the you put a ring on it's game over. Women need Godly men to step up and say, "Girl, I want to take on responsibility and own it. I want to love you the way Christ loves the church, and I want to be a leader." There's pretty much nothing more manly than that.

Disclaimer: In no way am I thinking about tying the knot anytime soon, because i know i need to mature a WHOLE lot more for me to be ready for that responsibility. But I don't want to live in fear of the idea. Hopefully, God's got this totally sexy and sweet girl picked out for me. (please let it be true) and I pray when the time comes I'm man enough to get ready for the most fun I will have with her rather than just me and my friends.

check it: http://bragonmylord.com/post/11958265429/why-did-i-get-married-so-young

Too long....

Besties this is so not acceptable. First off, my bad....I have not done a good job on this blog or checking in with you guys to see how your lives have been. Second, I would like to chat with you guys soon to catch up and see whats been going on in your lives. I seriously miss you guys a ton and can't wait for CHRISTMAS BREAK BABY! A little mistletoe....oh ya.....muchos smoochos! Anyways....guys I've been thinking about you a ton and praying for you guys! Hope all is going well and that you still check this thing cause it's been a while for me...ooops!

Love you guys
(big hug, little kiss)

--C swag (that's my nickname in the AO house haha)
Cully

nadyne.

i honestly don't know how to say this. um a girl who graduated from apu with lindsay frey died yesterday.  she was a young life leader, a staff person at high sierra and by all accounts an on fire Christian. her name was nadyne. i met her when i visited chase at high sierra last semester. obviously i didn't know her very well but so many of my friends here did.  i can honestly say that she is the first person that i have ever known that has died. and obviously my connection is so insignificant compared to her true friends but it has made me realize even further how fragile life was.  she slipped while on a platform at camp and fell 30 feet. i have gone through what that would be like in my head a dozen times.  i feel so terrible for my friends who knew her more intimately but what can you say? the comfort is temporary because this world is broken. i have every confidence that nadyne is in heaven rejoicing with the angels but at the same time i have my own doubts. i do not want to die. and knowing nadyne is in heaven does not make the earthly pain any less. 

i don't know how to say this exactly but seeing nadyne's death and its fallout has made me think about losing someone that i care about.  i can honestly say that i do not know what my response would be to lose a friend from westside, younglife, apu. i pray that God can ready my heart and faith for when that day comes. i pray that God readies my heart for when i meet Him. 

i love you guys. 

learning to love your flaws. ~ don miller

this is so good. talked with one of my young life leaders and she talked about how tough camp was because the girls looked at it as just another place to be judged.  she said they wouldn't go in the pool because they didn't want to wear a swimsuit. and these are quite honestly beautiful skinny young women who should have nothing to hide.  i wish there was some kind of self confidence pill you could make teenagers take (let's be honest, i'd take it too) so they could see their own potential, beauty etc. but i thought this blog was surprisingly appropriate for happening right after that conversation and the video is really neat too. enjoyy!

"Had a long talk tonight with a friend about our flaws, how as we were growing up we were fat or freckled or wore glasses, and about no matter how much we change, we still feel like that rejected kid. She wasn’t quite as chubby as I was (or still am!) but she still got made fun of in school. For both of us, the healing really came when we learned to accept ourselves as we were.

It’s a slow process, for sure, and for me it included forgiving myself without feeling sorry for myself, and deciding to enjoy life now, not “when I lose weight.”

For me, that was the beginning of a long journey of losing more than 150 pounds. I don’t always love my body, but I rarely if ever hate it anymore. I’ve come a long way from those times that, in high school, I’d stress about not fitting into my band uniform. It’s been an incredible journey. I never diet anymore, and I keep a closer check on the crap I tell myself than I do on the scale (though I confess I weigh every day as, for me, it’s healthy to see that number and accept it rather than hate it.)

I used to hate seeing pictures of me back when I was so much heavier, but now, I love them. I was a good guy back then. I was carrying around a lot more than weight and it only produced muscle. And being that big gave me a big heart. I’m grateful.

It’s true we impress people with our supposed perfections, but we connect with each other in our flaws.

I’d rather be connected than perfect. After talking to my friend tonight about our flaws, I’m going to bed connected. Feels pretty good. Hope you’ve got some folks to celebrate your flaws with too.

Thought this video from Caitlyn Crosby was great.

Feel free to share your very favorite flaws in the comments below!"

incredible encores.

... perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony.

it is possible that God says every morning,

"do it again" to the sun; 

and every evening, "do it again" to the moon. 

it may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike;

it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never go tired in making them.

the repetition in Nature may not be a mere recurrence; it may be a theatrical encore.

~ orthodoxy

Dude this new picture is HUGE.....

Dude this new picture is HUGE!

Gentlemen of the Road.....

Guys, so mumford and sons has this youtube video series called "gentlemen of the road" and i think its cool and ive only seen pt. 1 but im posting the link cause i think you guys will enjoy it....dont know how many parts there are but it shouldnt be to overwhelming (hopefully).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gW35oPXWd_Q

^^part 1

love story.

so this is a blog post by donald miller on how to live your own "love story" and this post was for men while yesterday's was for women. i think he knows what he's talking about.

How to Live a Great Love Story Vol II (For the Guys)

Any great story contains the following elements:

• A person (or group of people)

• That wants something.

• And are willing to overcome conflict.

• To get it.

A great love story is no different. In a love story, a guy, wants a girl, and is willing to fight the dragon, to get her. Or at least some variation on this theme.

If you’re like me, though, you don’t like to sit and watch romantic movies. If it’s a comedy, I can bear it, but I’m the guy who fast-forwards romantic dialogue they throw in to endear a female audience. I could care less.

That said, though, men were designed by God to live a great love story.

But there’s a difference between men and women, here. Men were not designed to have love stories “happen to them” as much as they were designed to “make a love story happen to a woman.” Do you understand. You’re the writer of the story. You’re the guy who initiates and has the character to follow through. You’re the one responsible for how the love story turns out.

I think we can all agree we live in a culture of guys who couldn’t write a love story to save their lives. Honestly, American love stories suck. If you want a girl to be crazy about you, you’ve got so little competition that it’s easier than ever.

The only thing is, it looks nothing like the sappy stuff Hollywood is selling to our current culture of women who are, perhaps, lost in fantasy. Those kinds of stories have men stuttering about feeding women’s egos by falling all over themselves and practically peeing their pants. In real life, women think those guys are losers. A woman wants a man who is confident, who knows where he is going, and knows exactly where she fits into his life. Her preference, of course, is that she fits into his life as a best friend, lover, wife, and the mother of their children. At lest that’s the case in the love stories I want to talk about in this blog.

Women do like bad guys for a period of time. Usually, this lasts between the ages of 18 to about 24.The reason is simple. Their bodies are looking for somebody who is strong enough to defend their offspring, and they mistake strength for, well, the general characteristics of a jerk.

But, as she gets a little older, a woman’s chemistry begins to change and she enters into a more mature understanding of strength. As a woman matures, she literally loses interest in the bad guys and looks for somebody more dependable. She loses interest in guys who can’t be faithful and, well, can’t seem to stop smoking pot. After that, women become interested in stable, well adjusted men headed somewhere that involves safety, security and emotional stability. That’s where you come in because the real love stories, the ones that don’t end with her bailing her loser boyfriend out of jail, or worse, catching him with another woman, happen when two healthy people finally find each other. If you’re reading this and you’re young, you might have to put up with a few years of girls chasing guys with tattoos on motorcycles, but don’t worry about that. You start down a solid career path and girls will be knocking down your door in a few years. I promise.

Most people think love stories only benefit women. But don’t be fooled. There’s a lot in this for you. A man can have sex with a thousand women and he’ll never feel as masculine as he will be leading a woman through a good love story. God designed it so a man felt his most powerful while guiding a woman through an amazing love story.

Love stories, though, are told through sacrifice, patience and pain. It may take you five years or more to get your act together, but when you do, every woman around you will recognize a potential leading man in the love story they are dreaming about.

Here are some things to work on to lead a woman through a great love story.

Want something. Every story involves a person who wants something, and you’re love story can’t be any different. First of all, you should want some kind of career or impact. You should want make the world a better place and you should be very focused and dedicated to making this happen. This means going to college, starting a company, coaching a team or teaching a class. If you want to make a woman’s dreams come true, pick up your X-box and throw it in the trash and start doing something with your life. Have you ever noticed that  ancient paintings of women always have them draped over a bed or a couch, arms outstretched in rest? And yet the guys are yielding a sword or riding a horse or captaining a ship. That’s because men were designed to work. Want something. Work hard to become good at a craft. Get off your couch and move. My friend Henry Cloud actually recommends that when a father is approached by a young man asking for is daughters hand in marriage, he withholds his blessing until the man presents his last few years worth of tax records. No kidding, it’s true. It’s not because Henry believes the man should make a lot of money, it’s because the young man should be responsible enough to file taxes and have a job. How else is he going to provide for a family. All that to say, part of being a leading man in a love story is being a dependable, action-oriented worker.

Choose the right women to date. The book of Proverbs was primarily written to men, and while there is a great deal of advice in the book about work ethic and finances, a significant percentage of the book is spent warning men to stay away from certain women. Is she seductive? Stay away. Is she nagging? Stay away. Is she sexually promiscuous? Stay away. In my dating history, I’ve dated some amazing women. But on two occasions, I dated girls who were pretty seductive in nature, and I paid dearly. I lost sleep and nearly lost my sanity. I’ll never forget taking a flight to Vancouver BC one night, reading through the book of Proverbs and realizing what the source of my problems was, I was dating a girl the book told me not to date. I broke up with her immediately and sanity returned.

Now this does not mean you shouldn’t date a girl with a past. One of my all-time favorite girlfriends, a girl I consider amazing and will make a terrific wife to somebody some day, actually spent years living with a guy and has a fairly liberal standard regarding sexuality. That said, though, she’s not seductive, and she’s completely honest about her philosophy. In other words, we may not agree about everything regarding sex, but the woman has integrity. I’d take a non-christian woman with integrity over a Christian seductress any day, and I’d be a happier man for making that decision. You want a woman who is looking for a  man, not a woman who is looking for men. Seriously, guys, just stay away from the woman who leads with her seductive side.

Have a plan. Did you know John Wooden, who won 10 National Championships with UCLA actually never won the championships the first 16 years he coached? It’s true. It wasn’t until he sat down one off season and created a plan that he began to succeed, and he’s of the most successful coaches in all of sports. My question to you, then, is do you have a plan? Do you know what kind of father you want to be? Do you know what kind of wife will be required to make your vision come true? If you don’t have a plan, you’re leaving your success up to luck.

Be honorable with the women you date. I made a rule a long time ago and it’s served me well. I told myself I’d never kiss a girl unless I cared deeply about her. For the most part, if not completely, I’ve never kissed a girl I wasn’t dating. Though looking back I think there were a few in there that weren’t quite defined. That said, though, I’ve never used a girl just for sex or just to hook up. I am so grateful for this, because I don’t want my conscious entangled in all that mess. While there are a few girls I’ve dated who may not like me, I think most of them think I’m pretty okay. At least that’s what they’ve told me. So here’s the thing. You can either wreck a girls heart, or build it up. You can either help her understand that she’s beautiful by protecting her heart and her body, or teach her she’s just a girl worth using for sex. To be sure, there are plenty of girls who actually just want to be used for sex, but remember, Proverbs says stay away from these women. Seriously, I’ve taken the bait a couple times and it’s a living nightmare.

Stop validating yourself with women. This is a pretty serious problem for many men, especially men who grew up with womanizing fathers or no fathers at all. Men who do not believe they have what it takes to live life well and with strength will validate themselves with women. They just aren’t sure they’re manly, so they have to test themselves all the time by trying to knock down girl after girl. Even if it’s not sexual, it can be emotional. A guy can get hooked on that feeling of having a girl like him. If you are going to tell a great love story, you are going to have to figure out how to let go of this tendency. Stop validating yourself with women. Stay focused on the one girl you’ve chosen and make it happen with her and her alone.

Stop having sex and learn to make love. I’m amazed at how many women hook up with guys and talk about how terrible the sex was. Seriously, I hear them talk about this all the time. But why? Why would a man who has slept with hundreds of women not be very good in bed? Well, the main reason is a woman wants to connect in ways beyond just a physical connection. Most “players” have no idea how to make love to a woman, precisely because they don’t even care about the woman they are sleeping with on a given night. They are so busy trying to get laid, they take no time to actually find out who she is. Essentially, sex to them is just mutual masturbation. It usually leaves the woman feeling dissatisfied and, well, disgusted and if she’s honest, a little used.

I mean sure she wanted to have sex, but she may have wanted something else, too. A woman often wants a deep, soul connection. Even though she hooked up with a stranger, she was just going through the motions of something else she really wants. She wants words of affirmation and eye contact and playful fun that only happens in intimacy. Why was the sex no good in the hook up? Because the relationship was no good.

That said, start being a man who knows how to connect with women. I’m not suggesting becoming a player. I really think you should only be connecting with a woman who is worthy of becoming your wife. But when she is your wife, make love to her heart, not just her body. As ferociously as possible, find that woman’s heart and connect with it. Learn everything about her and connect with her in as many ways as possible. Understand her story and care about her past. In fact, for the first several months, I wouldn’t even try to make a move. Just get to know her, become her friend, do things with her that she enjoys, take the relationship to the place where you smile when you hear her name. Once you get there, the sex will be great. Once you have earned the respect only a husband deserves, her body will respond in ways she never thought humanly possible, and, for that matter, so will yours.

Bring peace into chaos: I firmly believe that the job of a man is to bring peace into chaos. A man (and a woman too for that matter) can look into an empty field and see a house. He can look into a woman’s lonely heart and see how easily it could be loved. He can walk into a room and settle a group of wild children. Look at your life and ask yourself this question: Wherever I go, do I leave a trail of peace behind me? If not, then start practicing the art of ordering chaos right now. Is there chaos in your personal life? Clean it up. Is there chaos in your relationships? Clean them up. A man brings peace and order into chaos. You have what it takes to do this, I believe it firmly. You were designed to leave a wake of peace everywhere you go.

Surround yourself with good men. Years ago I asked about five guys who didn’t know each other to meet me for breakfast. I hand chose these guys. Each of them were intelligent, driven, successful and emotionally stable. We got together early one morning and I introduced them to each other. Then I did something very strange. I told them we all needed to be friends. I told them the world was in need of good leaders, and good leaders only become good leaders if they affect each other. As odd as it was, that group continued to meet for two years, and now we are all deeply imbedded in each others lives.

Lose your loser friends. This brings me to something hard. If you have some friends who are dragging you down, that is they are knocking down chicks and not applying themselves to a career, it’s time for you to invite them into something better, and then if they don’t want to come, cut them completely out of your life. I’m sorry to say it so bluntly, but it’s time for them to go.

Develop strength. A woman loves a man who can be tender with her, but believe me, while you’re holding her in your arms and she’s being comforted about her hard day, you’d better have a baseball bat behind your back, ready to obliterate anybody who tries to hurt her. Be tender to her, but be absolutely ferocious with anybody who takes advantage of her. If you aren’t a strong man, practice. Take stands, don’t be a pushover, protect the ones you love, and be willing to make a few enemies.

Okay, so what does this have to do with telling a good love story. Well, it has everything to do with telling a good love story. Women don’t just fall in love with flowers and chocolate. All that crap is fine. But what they fall in love with is dependability, strength, kindness, community, structure, strength and character. Being the leading man in a love story is, basically, about being just that, a man that leads. Be a good man, a man with character. Have a vision, lead the story, and be the man she’s been dreaming about.

Dallas.

When do you know you're no longer home, but in Dallas Texas? Here's the checklist:

1. Your roommates laugh at you for digging bottles out of the trash to recycle

2. Instead of enjoying the sun, you hide from it.

3. You have homework on Hong Kong Cinema

4. You spend $60 on protein bars at the store

5. A Bentley is not a boy-toy in the Bachelorette but an actual car

5. The temperature change between inside a building and outside is 50 degrees.

6. Your sleeping on an air mattress in someone's living room

7. You just learned there was such a thing as Hong Kong movies

8. E.T. by katy perry isn't played on the radio 500 billion times, instead it's country non-stop.

9. Trucks are more prominent on the road than Prius's

10. Football = life............ but you still find time to go to the club.

hebrews 4:15-16

"for we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.  let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and grace to help in time of need." (nkjv)

"we don't have a priest who is out of touch with our reality.  He's been through weakness and testing, experienced it all - all but the sin.  so let's walk up to Him and get what He is so ready to give.  take the mercy, accept the help." (message)

i love how bluntly the above verses state Christ's humanity.  Jesus experienced life just as we do but He avoided sin.  He was the same in every way except he did not sin. and because of this commonality, we can approach him as we would approach a friend who we need a favor from.  except the "favors" that Christ has offered us through His death include salvation by mercy and forgiveness by grace.  Christ died because he wants to give us these. why don't i want to accept them from Him 24/7?

WORK...

Well i'm just sitting at home waiting till 6 pm so i can drive to work and freeze....in the freezer while lifting 50lb boxes and barrels of frozen chicken and bbq sauce. Work is hard but it's also rewarding, rewarding in the experiences and work ethic we are able to walk away with. lets not forget the moolah $$$$! ok ok and the pallet jack is pretty fun to drive though even though i kinda suck at it on turns..... Anyways im just thankful that i am able to have a job in this tough economy and i am furthurm0re thankful that its just a summer job and that i can leave after this summer and go to a good school to learn and get the skills for a better more satisfying job. Summer jobs are good for summer but i wish i could hang out with my besties with testies more. see you guys this weekend!

kindergarden.

i had the privilege of running into our kindergarden teacher mrs. heinen at ohsu the other day. and she is just so sweet. i almost wish we could have had her as a teacher in high school also because even just in our 30 minutes talking she was so encouraging and engaging and just God-honoring. i saw her on the phone as i was helping some people find the elevators and i ran back to find her. i tapped her on the shoulder and just said, "hey mrs. heinen it's austin layton. i was in your class almost 14 years ago..." and then just kinda stood there hoping she'd remember. and she did! her eyes lit up and she gave me a hug. i asked her why she was there and she told me that her mom had been in the hospital for almost a week but was hopefully getting out soon. someone somewhere said (i swear someone did say this about someone else), "you can't help being with her for five minutes without breaking into worship or bowing your heads in prayer because she is so constantly in communication with Jesus" granted that quote is not exact and i think it was someone like billy graham talking about joni eareckson tada but i can't be sure. what i do know is that i felt that way with mrs. heinen. the conversation centered around what i was doing with my life and how she had been which is all very physical but also so spiritual like paul refers to (see "spirituals" post) that concerns the physical.  i walked away from our conversation refreshed and feeling as if God had been right there with us.  mrs. heinen said nothing of profound significance and it was not an intensely theological conversation but instead she just exuded holiness. it was obvious that she was unique and set apart from the world.  let's be honest, she is on the downhill slope towards death but i can envision her wholeheartedly relating to 2 timothy 4:6-8, "for i am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand.  i have fought the good fight, i have finished the race, i have kept the faith. finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing."

bikram yoga

there comes in a time in everyone's life when one must ruffle their feathers and take flight into uncharted territory. or just do something new. Whichever metaphor works for you.

Arriving back to P-town where the temp hovers around 55 degrees apparently now in May and June, I was looking forward to a nice little break from the intense heat of Texas. But when I was called upon to spend 90 minutes in a 105 degree oven sweating while trying to perform yoga poses, I was all in contrary to my previous thought process. I mean why not? I'm sure this stretching will be good for my loins and my athleticism. How hard could this really be?

We arrived to our little cookout in downtown beaverton and walked through the door. sidenote: there's always that awkwardness when walking into a place you never been before. But I really felt out of place when the first dude I come across is shirtless, shoeless, rocking a blue tat down the middle of his back, and best of all tie-dye spandex, which reveals all. But hey, this is what I expected, right? Just some diehard yoga freak. I'm just trying this stuff out, so don't judge me in my shorts and t-shirt. After removing our shoes and mistakenly walking into the women's changing room (don't worry no one was in there) we got our mats and got ready to hit the room. This lady handed us a towel that was a more beach towel size than the small hand towel I expected. It's a good thing because I used every square inch of that, or at least my sweat did.

As we entered the sauna, we were greeted with a fresh blast of hot air that clung to the skin and wouldn't let go. There were dead people all around us. I mean they were just laying there chilling obviously in some deep mental meditation. Psshhaaa! none of that crap for me. What I didn't realize was that they were just chilling getting ready for the bodily beat down we were about to experience. The instructor walks in with a cheerful hello and surprisingly calls us out by name as the "new guys." thanks dude. He wore some short shirts, no shirt, and possessed calmness only known to those after blowing on some bong. no comment. He talked for basically the entire 90 minutes, teaching and instructing and explaining each position. After doing a breathing exercise for a good 10 min that sounded like a dying buffalo whenever the class exhaled, we started the yoga. By this time I came around to the idea that I was gonna be stuck here for another hour twenty sucking in this hot air. So I tried to take control of my mind before i started freaking out and hyperventilating. As soon we were done holding each position we got to chill out on our mats to recover. much needed. It was a process of doing a stretch then relaxing. stretch then relax. I was tempted to just stay relaxed the whole time and have a nice nap, but bong boy probably would've gotten on my case.

Sooner than I expected the class was over and we exited inhaling cool air. ahhhhh. felt so good. I don't know if I'll head back there and do some more bikram yoga, but it made me glad that I tried it out and did something new. It's good to challenge yourself and find out how you handle certain situations especially when they are way out of your norm. now.......where's that club downtown?

spirituals.

based off of john mark's preaching last night at solid rock....

i've learned to love when pastor's incorporate the old testament into teaching based in the new testament.  and last night the teaching was based out of 1 corinthians 12 yet the john mark began reading out of isaiah 42 and the prophesy / promise that God places His Spirit upon the Elect One.  this promise is fulfilled in luke 3:22 when the "Holy Spirit descended in bodily form like a dove upon Him (Jesus)".  

after establishing Jesus' anointment of the Holy Spirit (confirmed in 4:1), luke writes, "then Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit to Galilee" in 4:14.  Jesus' power comes from the Spirit! Jesus is fully man and fully God, 100% of both.  yet His power does not come from His "God-ness" but instead from being fully enveloped in the Spirit.  

in john 14:12, Jesus says, "most assuredly, i say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that i do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because i go to My Father" i'm no greek scholar but john mark said the current thought is that by "greater" Jesus means a greater quantity.  Jesus set the example of what can be done in the power of the Spirit and now we are to take the Spirit and continue His work. acts 1 begins of referring to a former account of what Jesus began to do and teach. the story of Jesus is not finished!

finally arriving at 1 corinthians 12 john mark pointed out that what is translated as "spiritual gifts" is pneumatikōn (phonetically more like "pnumatakos") which literally means "spirituals".  paul never connects the words "spiritual" and "gift" throughout his letters though the church refers to the spiritual gifts of paul all the time. the spirituals that paul write about are purely physical manifestations of the Spirit of God.  paul's idea of spiritual was not something supernatural or untouchable but instead a very physical result of the Holy Spirit's presence.  for me it is easy to wait for the touchy feely aspect of the Holy Spirit when it is instead a very physical presence. 

the Spirit's purpose is not to enhance our personal life but "the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all".  if i prophesy, it is not for my benefit.  God did not give me His Spirit so that i can later brag about my experience with the Spirit but instead so that others may be uplifted.  the manifestations of the Spirit are all merely means to and end.  that end is the edification of the church and each member in it.  

do you want the Holy Spirit? do you realize that if you do, how you live will be exponentially more important than what you believe?

why do you want the Spirit? for yourself and your own confidence or for others?

what does the Holy Spirit want for you? how do you see the Holy Spirit working through you?

home.

how you know you're home (or at least not in california)....

1. it is raining
2. the water tastes good
3. everyone recycles
4. you can actually find a recycling bin
5. there aren't 7 million plastic surgery billboards on the way home
6. the speed limit is 55
7. it is called "i-5" not "the 5"
8. nobody comments on how pale you are
9. even though your pro basketball team loses a series, people still support them
10. you worry about tennis matches being "rained out"
11. the grocery store sells organic meat
12. putting a bird on something makes it art
13. there are bookstores that take up a city block
14. excessive amount of bikers
15. you see multiple "smart cars" on the road
16. it is 55 degrees and locals bust out the shorts
17. it's still raining

Thank You For the Cross

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldyYOaWVL9Q

I really like this song and i find it appropriate for this day of Easter. It's hard sometimes to remember the true meaning of this day with society shoving these ideas of their own in our heads. This song is awesome cause it brings me back to the true meaning of today and reminds me of what our entire religion is based on. Jesus' resurrection!
I hope you guys enjoy this song and remember the true meaning of this day. HE IS RISEN!

crucifixion.

hey guys one of my teachers gave this lecture last year in my biology class and it was really moving and even more so as we approach good friday. so take a peak and hopefully it put's Christ's sacrifice into perspective for us.

http://www.apu.edu/articles/15657/

ps. i have never understood why it is called "good" friday when it was anything but. easter sunday might be considered "good" but i don't get the friday part. (this is a welcome invitation for someone to tell me why...)
pps. part of the reason why this lecture was so good was because dr. shrier is a 50+ year old woman with m.s. who can barely walk without a cane and never really shows any emotion in class. all year she was monotone, stoic and never smiled much. but when she came to the end of her lecture she asked the question that ends this article and she started crying in front of the whole class. i told a friend about it after and they said she has been giving that same lecture for 28 years and cries every time.

video

this is a great reminder. not to mention that the guy has sick dreads. food for thought?

Not sure what to title this...

Do you ever go number #1 and then realize you really just had to go numero dos?

I hate that. especially when you realize after you've washed the hands. I usually just skip the hand washing part the second time around..........just kidding :)

Blessed

After the day has ended I will have successfully gone just about 24 hours without anything covering my feet, trying to raise awareness for poverty in Africa (TOMS shoes). I was easy for me, the weather was nice and the ground was warm and smoothly paved. Now that I look back on this experience that I have done the past few years I notice how extremely blessed I am.
I just went one pretty easy day without shoes, but people all over, in Africa and many other countries, go everyday without shoes. I don't know why I was put in this country and blessed by a family that could afford to buy me many pairs of shoes over the years.
Not only have I been blessed with shoes and clothing, but with friends and parents who love the Lord and try to make me the best person I can be for God and for others and you guys. I'm working with Walt my house manager right now on how to become a godly man in every aspect of life.
I want to be able to be proud of who I am and how I treat others, and the affects on peoples lives I've had.
You guys have helped me become a better man, I have been blessed to know you guys and grow alongside you. I look up to both of you guys, the character you guys have is inspiring and I respect that in both of you guys.

Get out of the mud.

well since I haven't posted in a good long while.... I guess this had better be profound..... ok, maybe not....but it's me being honest with myself after hearing a sermon from our lead paster Matt Chandler at the Village Church today.

One word: Convicting

Let's start with this shall we?

"I am far more wicked than I think I am and He is far more gracious than I think He is."

Habakkuk 3:2-4 -

"LORD, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O LORD. Renew them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy.

God came from Teman, the Holy One from Mount Paran. (Selah) His glory covered the heavens and his praise filled the earth. His splendor was like the sunrise; rays flashed from his hand, where his power was hidden."

These three verses give us a two different pictures of God.

1. What God can do. (vs 2)

2. Who God is. (vs 3-4)

The easy one for me to think about is 'what God can do'. Well God can do a lot. He can create, he can bring people from death to life, he can heal the sick, give the blind sight, open a door for you when you're wondering which way to turn, and make some sweet french toast (just speculating.....can't wait to dig into some in Heaven, and I'm pretty sure chef ramsey got no crap to say about that) It's pretty easy to see what God can DO, basically because I want God to DO things for me. Such as, 'Lord, give me a good practice today so the coaches can see what I can do. Lord, surround me with Godly people at SMU. Father, show me how I can be a better boy-toy.' why deny it? :)

The sorry thing is, is that I'm satisfied with it. I'm satisfied with where I'm at. But this is only half of it. The other part is to marvel at who God is. That in itself is desiring God. That's not going after what he can give me; that's having my focus on nothing else, but Him. Nothing else. Nothing else. Nothing else.

Our boy C.S. Lewis gives the perfect picture of who I am when he talks about us as a whole:

"It would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased"

I just don't get it. Really? Stephen, come on. The best I can offer myself is poop compared to what God's got. My longing must be for God, not what He can do. All things that don't point me there to Christ are just dead and deformed. He can give me/us sooooooo much more. Why don't I want it?

Here comes the convicting part. Ok, goodie Stephen, you think your pretty hot stuff don't you? Yeah, I do. Why don't I pray? Why don't I dive into the Word? Simply put: I don't need to. At least I think I don't. Is there some life-threatening disease hanging over me? No. Are my parents getting a divorce? No. What's there to cause me to run to God? Why should I? I'm doing fine on my own.

Mud puddles. I'm doing fine in my mud puddles.

I just don't know what I'm missing..... Jesus is better than long-life, safety, getting playing time, having a beautiful wife.

If I'm spending 4 hours a day busting my butt for football just to play in mud puddles, why can't I take that same tenacity towards longing for God and start doing something that's really worth the effort? Why don't I pursue until my guts spill out?

Abba Father, my desire is for you. I don't want to miss out anymore.

Simplicity

To enjoy life I have found that I need to focus on the little things, the simple things.
This break showed me how to truly enjoy the simplicity of life.
Hanging out with friends just blasting music in the car and taking pictures. Setting up a tent in record speed and thanking the Lord for amazing weather at the beach....in the winter....
but what truly reminded me of the simple things in life were the people I was with, the food we ate, and the time we spent enjoying everything that was so beautiful around us.
Watching the sun set into the ocean (even though it was covered by clouds sometimes) left me awestruck, how great is the creation God has made, how amazing is his imagination and design?!
Standing in the sand with my camera I couldn't help but feel like I was capturing a little piece of God with every snap-shot I took.
Even when I had to get up at 4 am both nights to fix the rain flap on the tent (which was 3 tarps) I still loved every moment, every person, and everything that happened this break. I missed my main wing men there fo sho tho!

Enjoying the simple things in life bring me the most joy, I don't even understand why sometimes...why should sitting down with my arm around someone special or sitting around austin's house eating food be so much more fulfilling than inner-tubing on a hot summer day (which is awesome don't get me wrong)? I think it's because I am learning to be content and that God is showing me to live in the moment instead of looking towards the future.

“Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world."- John 17: 24

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands."- Psalms 19:1

life as a preparatory academy.

"this whole following Jesus business is largely about giving Him control, or more, realizing we don’t have control to begin with. and a great way to measure whether or not we’ve given Him our lives is to ask ourselves if we’ve given Him our death. by that i mean are we are okay with the fact that some day soon we are going to part with all that we’ve made, all that we’ve done, and no longer have an ounce of control over what happens on the earth?

i’ll be very candid with you here. if it weren’t for the reality of death, i’d have much more trouble following Christ. death means some day i have to trust Him, and life is something like a preparatory academy for that moment. if i can trust Him with my death, i can trust Him with my life, and that means my next book and my romantic confusion and my anger and desire to get even and my money and all the rest. death doesn’t give me a choice. and so i’m thankful."

~ donald miller's blog

francis and don.

i've been feelin a bit of the spring spiritual blues (made up emotion) and some of this might have to do with school stepping up a notch and the subsequent distraction from God.  but this week francis chan came again and spoke at school and it was so awesome! should be up on itunes soon to download and while you wait you can always download when he spoke in the fall. on top of that donald miller (holler at your portland boy!) had some amazing blog posts concerning death. i loved them. so i'll attempt to post those links at the end of this...

francis spoke and as a brief synopsis he spoke about how our lives can be so out of balance with what we believe.  he took a recent trip to asia to look at missionary opportunities for himself and his family and came back realizing that american christianity is straight up ridiculous.  when he told chinese christians how we did church with child care and ushers and services in big buildings every sunday, they laughed.  they are persecuted and hunted for being christians.  francis asked if there are any "lukewarm" christians in china and they laughed and asked, "why would anybody do this halfway? we lose everything for our beliefs."
am i willing to lose everything? am i willing to be alone in this world so that i might live in the next? this is as good of a segway into don's blog posts. the links are below.

http://donmilleris.com/2011/03/24/grappling-with-control-and-the-fear-of-dying/
http://donmilleris.com/2011/03/25/jesus-comforts-our-fear-of-death/

finally, francis said this near the end of his visit, "i'm not trying to be radical or some extreme Christian i just want my life to make sense in light of what i believe." take it for what you will.

follower.

side note. can we give props to our first official "follower"? yeah jordan!!!

and here is the call out to all our anonymous followers who just check our blog all the time. i see you anonymous follower.

armor.

my brothers. i stumble and trip up and allow the devil to tempt and trap me.  but these verses in galatians 6 are awesome because they put a metaphorical spin on the spiritual battle and when i read the verses, i can't help but think of gladiator and maximus putting on his armor before entering the arena.
galatians 6:10-20 tells of the whole armor of God, belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, shield of faith, helmet of salvation, sword of the Spirit.  the message puts it so succinctly (s.a.t. word anybody?) in that these "are more than words.  learn how to apply them.  you'll need them throughout your life.  God's Word is an indispensable weapon."
we are not fighting in a saturday football grudge match but a battle for keeps, all-or-nothing, life-or-death fight against the devil for not only our own eternal salvation but others around us as well. i encourage you to see the devil's stumbling blocks in your life and eliminate them.  the block doesn't have to make you sin, even if they just keep you from experiencing God to His fullest. call it lent, call it whatever you want but i can personally attest to how great it can be. i love you guys.

books.

my books are my girlfriend. by austin. 
a haiku. 

let me explain myself.

i spend a lot of money on my books.
i spend a lot of time with my books.
my books are always there for me.
when i do well on a test, my books make me feel good about myself.
i usually close the door when i'm focusing on my books.
my books don't judge me.
sometimes i take naps with my books / i fall asleep on top of them.
my books are fun to take to coffee shops, and sit with for hours.


why my books are better than a flesh and blood girlfriend

they say what they mean.
i don't need to buy them things.
they can't talk back.
they don't nag.
you can close them when you don't want to listen anymore.
they can fit into any time schedule.
they don't make me be someone i'm not.
i don't have to meet the parents.
they are not emotionally unstable.


i love my books!

Give me more

Gimme that fire, that flame

Give me that furious longing for your Name

Everything in life is a vapor

Why can't I see it? The only thing that remains is a Savior

God's Grace, How can I understand?

It doesn't make sense. I can't earn it.

All I have to do receive it.

All day I fight for my way, my life, my purpose

But soon I realize, it doesn't work. I can't fill myself up, no surplus

I don't want to just think i should pray to you

Change my heart, make me have no other desire but You!

In the book of Job, you show your power

No back talk, you do as you please, God clean me with a Holy Shower

Speaking of Holiness, does that exist in our world?

We've given our souls away, so gnarled

God calls us for something more, have Him ignite

a light so Bright

A flame that burns to our very being

incinerates our sin, believe it, that's faith, no seeing

God, give me a prayer life that IS my life

That's worship, cut out the unneeded with a scythe

Why does it hurt? God, don't you know what I'm going through?

Then I remember you do.

You sent your Son to a people who didn't want saving

I wanted nothing to do with Him, now I can't get enough, just saying

Set me aflame, a life with no shame

in the book.

francis chan spoke at chapel last semester and it was incredible. i mean i would expect nothing less from him but i loved hearing him speak. what he said is stuck in my brain (still! so it gotta be good) and i wanted to share it.
i could watch the podcast of the talk he gave (which i downloaded. and would recommend you to do likewise) and quote verbatim what he said but this will be close enough. he challenged us to look at our own lives and ask if our lives belonged in the Bible.  if we were written into the Word of God, would people think, "why is he in there? why does he belong to be in that book? what has he done to glorify God and further the kingdom?" and sometimes in my day to day life i wonder if i am living radically for Christ. and being at apu i have learned to be skeptical of the numerous cliches thrown around without care such as living radically. we are in surburbia los angeles. at college. studying. what is radical about that? but we can be looking forward to something greater in our own lives while spurring one another on towards good deeds and encouraging each other. i hate the confidence of the student body, especially the girls to totally stereotype because we need to realize that the God of the universe created us uniquely and in His own image! how does this relate to my life being written into the Bible? i'm not sure but i'm doing my best to connect the dots. i want God to say "well done good and faithful servant" soon. i want to know that my story belongs in the book of life.

Love

Well this seems appropriate for the day, my favorite verse is Hebrews 10:24-25, "Let us consider how we may spur on another on towards love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another and all the more as we see the day approaching."

When i read this verse i am reminded how much love thing should be lived out in our lives, 'not just the roman candle, hollywood hot pink love'.... im talkin' about the I GOT YOUR BACK LOVE! (really thought i wouldn't quote john haha) seriously this love thing should be shown by how we encourage eachother in the good and crack down on eachother in the bad. I love you guys but if you screw up or do somethin i know is wrong i will let you know, because you guys mean so much to me. Alright no more mooshy stuff....

I was recently reading my Bible (shocker!! jk jk) but for some reason i was in Romans randomly and in chapter 12 verse 12 it says "be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
I really like this verse because it covers just about everything in 10 words literally, happy in the good, patient in the bad, but always faithful in prayer. I have been praying for you guy... just want you to know that and I know that your making new sweet friends and maybe even a couple new lady friends (austin?) haha just remember to show them love, Christ's love, the love he showed us when he died on the cross for me and you. Even though my life is full of so much crap!

Once again ill just say it cause it's true, love you guys! Besties with Testes!

wifey.

sometimes i dont want to have to wait for you. sometimes i wish that it was easy. but the waiting and the difficulties are what will make it all worth it. 

i wonder sometimes. do i already know you? what is your laugh like? are you a christian now? are you dating someone now? what will we do for fun? please tell me you love thrift stores. 

i do know this for sure. you will love God more than you love me. and i would have it no other way. i pray for you, not in a religious teenage-girl-prayer-notebook kind of way but i know that you will meet your mini me on my shelf someday. your mini me reminds me of you, and puts a weird, 80's spin on a physical representation of who i'm praying for. 

to make this the weirdest ending of all time, i wonder if i won't meet you. not as in me becoming a bachelor for life (which could happen with my current facial hair) but as in my dying before we meet. or even better yet, my LORD bringing us home. how weird would it be to meet you in heaven? the thought gives me chills. 

people

There's a whole world out there that's in need
Some show it more than others
But inside of everyone, there's a hole
No money, alcohol, girls could ever satisfy
They are insecure, they just want to be loved
At the bare minimum, to know someone cares
They try to fill themselves, but it's always half empty
Talk to people, listen to them
Above all else, they wish they had just someone close
Someone who could just accept them for who they were
They didn't have to put on a show
All they had to do was just to Be - no doing
No fake smiles and charisma - just genuine
It's amazing to see people when you take the time
You don't care what time of day it is, what it's about
All that matters is that person.
Why?
Because God cares..... that's where it all starts
The more I see other people and their needs, I realize:
They're scared, They're lonely
All they want is to be loved and to know someone's there
God, can you help save this person
Because that person
                                    is really me.

Mighty Men

2 Samuel 23:8-39          
1 Chronicles 11:10-47

3 Men. studs. nuff said.
This part of the bible is so sick! Three dudes singlehandedly own the philistines. One kills 800 men by himself in one encounter. what the crud?! imagine the movie 300, but ten billion times better. I get chills every time I read this section of scripture not just because of who these dudes were but because of who I think of. I think of my boys: Aust,  Cul and I looking to be the three mighty men of God. The mighty men are just the perfect picture of reliance and trust in each other. By themselves they are unmatched by anyone in Israel. Together, they risk their lives in service to their king because of their love for him.

Once, David longed for water. Of course the only water source was located in a stronghold of the philistines. (real good timing on that request, dave) "So the three men broke through the Philistine lines, drew water from the well near the gate of Bethlehem and carried it back to David." (2 Sam. 23:16) and might I add they did this without spilling......

Another time one of the mighty men, Eleazar, stood his ground while the rest of Israel retreated. He fought until his hand froze to the sword, and the LORD brought about a great victory. I don't really know how, but it was like the sword became ingrafted into Eleazar. (seriously, why hasn't anyone made a movie about these guys)

Translate that to us: Mighty men = dudes who cling to their sword. aka: the Word of God - no matter how long the battle or the fight may last because in the end the Lord will bring about a great victory. My prayer is that's who we strive to become: men with incredible loyalty to our King with amazing stories to tell.

Such are the exploits of the three mighty men.........

girls. (part 2)

Couldn't agree with you more man! I could also add, "If I see one more guy treating a girl he's with like crap, I swear I am gonna go insane!" The thing is I think we are a failed male generation, and I'm not excluding myself. All we want is, "What can I get from her?" rather than, "What can I give?" I know for me this is not my natural instinct. I have to fight it everyday and usually fail everyday and need to be forgiven. I wish guys could see women the way God sees them - WHO they are rather than WHAT they are.
It's that inner beauty that's what makes a girl beautiful. (like Aust said). I'm too tired of girls going at it the wrong way. Yeah you got us. Guys are suckers for the physical. But is that real beauty? I'd say no. To me, there's nothing hotter than a solid Christian girl who radiates Christ. I'm like, "girl, you read your bible? whooo! hold on. Can we get a window open in here." True Beauty.... its a beautiful thing.

Teste is the new Testie

I'm calling aust out on this one.

girls.

how weird is it that we are attracted to our own species? maybe that is just me but when i see me in the mirror, i'm not attracted to myself. so what makes me seek out relationships with girls? what makes them special?
more importantly, why don't girls see what makes them special? john mayer once said, "if i meet one more beautiful woman with daddy issues, i swear i'm gonna go insane" but i would say "if i meet one more beautiful woman with self esteem, self worth issues, i swear i'm gonna go insane!"
obviously, it's easier said than done. obviously our broken world harps on the fleeting physical beauty and appearances but we are so much more than skin and bones. God made us in His image! we praise God for his beauty and majesty but we can catch a glimpse of Him in others as well as ourselves. i might not be beautiful by the worlds standards but i know that i for sure will not be beautiful in 30 years. let's just be honest. just practically speaking, why can't i / we / girls focus on what will be eternally beautiful?
all this talk of beauty is semi focused on the spiritual aspect and inner beauty but anybody can be externally beautiful without makeup or washboard abs (i'm talkin to you two). a simple smile, exuberant joy illicits a beauty that is obvious to all. the night that stevo took courtney to banquet, i can legitimately say with an honest heart that courtney was beautiful.
i only wish girls could see their beauty, their infinite worth.

Momma Student

There are certain instances during the day that remind me I'm not in high school anymore. It could be anything from having to hurdle barf as I walk through the bathroom door to pledging frat dudes forced to wear hawaiian shirts on Fridays (suckers). However, nothing tops the notion that one of your classmates could already be parents, as is the case in my psych class. For our first class, we played "Get to know You"  with everyone. Turns out one of the the students is married (thankgoodness) and has a three year-old rugrat. Ah! That explains it then. 
 Now I don't know exactly what happens when regular woman enjoying college turns into 'mature acting' momma student, but there's a clear difference. As opposed to the other students in the class who wear whatever chill and hip clothes they can find, momma student is suddenly dressing like she's 40. She dons the classic light blue jeans (no holes) and sneakers look. Nope, no Toms or Sperry's for this lady. Sneaks are back in. Along with the new style comes a fresh new vocab. Offhand, momma student begins to inform me about the latest happenings of Elmo on Seasame Street, and how she can't wait for the next episode. I was tempted to pull the binkie out of her mouth, but I decided to let it slide. Momma student also sees the need to chime in and agree with whatever the prof is saying. After 1 hour and 20 mins of head bobbing in agreement and saying "Mmmhmmm," I wanted to........well let's just say it annoyed me. 
           Kudos to mom though for staying in school because without people like her, class will never be the same


Stephen          

Third.

Greater Love has no one than this that he would lay his life down for his friends.
John 15:13
I think I can say at least for myself that knowing you guys has made me a better person, and a more Godly man.....and yes a fool for el Christo! haha but seriously you guy don't know how much you have impacted my life. You guys are the best I would gladly 'catch a grenade for either of you' to....and yes promptly throw it right back cause heck I don't wanna die! haha
"Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in this world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still besties with testies."- unknown
I feel like this little quote says what our friendship really is, I will always be there for you both, in prayer, in sadness, and in joy! Till death do us part....o wait....


Love my bros!
Cully McCroskey

Second.

"If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! (10)
"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." (12)
                           Ecclesiastes 4:10,12

     Ah, the power of true friendship. I guess this verse had no meaning to me until I met these fools, my bros, my besties. (when I say fools, I mean 'fools for Christ' b/c that's what they are) Many a time I have fallen, and many a time I have been helped up. Thank goodness that our cord isn't easily snapped because I've tried hard to cut it. Call it man love, homo (actually no homo), bromance whatever....... I don't really care, but to have friends care about who you are rather than what you are, and who are able to take your heavy heart and pump it up with joy steroids is a very special thing indeed.

Stephen N.

first.

people will forget what you said.
people will forget what you did.
people will never forget how you made them feel.

this blog, this conversation is between three friends talking about life.
we are best friends.
we are amigos.
we are besties with testes.