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daily bread.

some things are said so well once, there's no point in trying to recreate or respond to. one of my teacher's has a blog and his latest post was exactly that for me. so here it is, michael bruner's post on any average day: 

"A pretty ordinary day today. Went to church ~ preached, actually ~ and witnessed 3 baptisms, served the Eucharist to about 100 people, and came home exhausted afterwards to watch some basketball on TV. Then went to my aunt’s and uncle’s to celebrate my birthday. Big 47. We ate 7-layer dip, drank some wine and sparkling cider, ate some tasty chicken, blew the candles out atop a chocolate cake, opened some presents, told old worn-out stories to each other that we’ve heard a million times, then piled in the car to come back home. My wife jumped in the shower with our baby boy, then with our daughter, while I got the birds in, fed the dog, and put away the day’s detritus. Then put my son to bed, gave my daughter her nightly hug, and listened to my wife fall asleep with our little girl after reading her a story and lying quietly next to her. An ordinary day.

And yet…

A pretty extraordinary day today. Gathered with God’s people to worship, in fits and starts, for much the same way God has been worshiped for 600 years, and 1400 years before that. Smart doctors, successful lawyers, rich financiers, and long-suffering grandparents all joined in the ruckus, listened to God’s Word broken over the Road to Emmaus story, witnessed the life-changing event of three young lives being committed to the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and prayed to the air expecting a God to overhear our mumblings. Ate the body and blood of the One called Savior, not once but twice ~ and served it, too, on a platter dripping with meaning we’ll never understand. Saw my wife watching me from the back of the sanctuary and wondered what she thought of this man, her husband, up there talking about the inevitability of doubt on the road to faith. Found myself knee-deep in symbolism, felt myself thick in the pull of ancient truths, and saw ordinary people in over their collective heads in the midst of it with me. Then came home in a dizzying spell of existential fatigue, took my own short walk to my Emmaus, then just as quickly rejoined the world in the blood-soaked, heart-rending, humor-filled, time-honored tradition of a family get-together where more wounds have been inflicted and more love suffered together than you can possibly imagine. Then came home to grow old with my family another day, to wash each other, feed each other, hold each other, speak to each other in quick staccato bursts ~ to love each other, in other words, on a day none of us will remember two weeks–much less ten years–from now, and yet it will be precisely because of days like this that we will sob uncontrollably at each others’ many deaths and try to catch that last, dying scent we call love-and-time when they’re rolled up together in an indistinguishable heap of being-ness. And then my house grew silent as my loves each fell asleep, one by one . . . surrendering to the night whatever silences the day had brought. And I found myself alone again, just as I’d awoken, but this time alone with more questions than before. And a day’s more love. And joy and sadness. An extraordinary day."

via http://exfontibus.wordpress.com/2012/04/22/my-daily-bread/

provoking.

went to a seminar last saturday. can you say nerd? but the woman who spoke was so wise. among other things, i found this the most convicting / cool / thought provoking aka i wanna do this.

"now when people ask me, 'megan, how is your day?' i have tried to have a reflex of thinking before i answer, 'it is not mine, it is His. what am i doing with it? am i wasting my breath?' which is only to say that i make a conscious thought to realize that my life is not about me."

i didn't have a recorder so that isn't an exact quote but you get the gist.  it was a really cool perspective on the whole He > i thing.

do with this as you wish.

I Live For This

Lord Hear my prayer:

Luke 18:1-8

It's time to show what I can do. At practice today Coach Phillips and Coach Jones made it clear that I am earning playing time right now. During 7on7 they told me to take 4 reps and rest 2, which is a butt-load. Whoo... I was tired after that, but this entire week I need to make plays. I earn it now, not during Fall Camp. They make their decisions on who plays during the Spring.

"No Pressure No Diamonds"

I've prepared. I'm ready. I just need to make the spectacular ordinary. Every day I need to make a play. Every day I need strength. Lord, I am weak! You are the author and perfecter of my faith. Let me not be put to shame! I believe I'm here for a reason, but sometimes I play tenative. Fill me with your power. Your Holy Spirit, the same one that raised Lazarus from the dead! You are the Giver of Good. My heart isn't living for this life, and I wanna bring as many people with me when this life ends. Show your power. But not my will but YOURS. If it doesn't work out, I will still love You.

Father, hear my prayer.

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mexico.

okok from the top.

went to mexico with apu for spring break. there's the news if i never communicated it with you. went with a medical focused team and our goal was to do physical therapy for kids with different disabilities.  most of them had cerebral palsy which is a form of rigid paralysis or muscular dystrophy which is flaccid paralysis so we did different exercises and stretches with them.  there is tons to say about the trip but i'll try to condense it the best i can.

we drove down from apu last saturday.  the trip took 5 hours or so and it was fun getting to know the people in the car who were on my team.  we had meetings before the trip to get to know each other but i didn't really go to many of those... we got in-n-out before the border (i'm an in-n-out convert, can't help it) and then headed into mexico.  the difference in the urban landscape and demographics was pretty stark.  we were in mexicali which is a region of mexico that is primarily agriculture with nearly zero tourist attraction.  got to our camp site which was really just an empty field and claimed our spot for our tent.  pitched that bad boy up and i picked my spot on the ground.  kinda forgot a sleeping pad but the dust under the tent was surprisingly soft.  

sunday was our first day working and we went to pick up saul and gustavo.  saul was the most functional cerebral palsy kid we had (see below: biceps for dayz)

but besides being functional, he had the greatest attitude.  saul's mom told us that every day he would wake up at 6 so he could get ready in time. even though we didn't pick him up til close to 9.  everyday he would be sitting in his walker in the driveway waiting for us.  that smile was plastered on his face all week.  he also loved american pop music and he listened to it on his own so even though he didn't speak english he would sing along to some of his favorite songs.  sometimes the words weren't exactly right but it was all because he just listened to the songs and phonetically sounded them out.  

gustavo was a kid with a disorder that is similar to non-comunicative autism but also manifests itself with excessive eating.  gustavo is 6 but he's over 110 pounds.  such a chubby bunny.  and because he can't communicate, he gets frustrated easily when he doesn't get what he wants.  which is hard to know because he can't communicate.  but when gustavo is happy, he is the cutest fat little mexican boy you have ever seen. 

case and point. 

the other kid that was one of my favorites was thomas.  he was a punk.  he learned some english words and would repeat them at funny times.  favorite thomas quotes : "sup dude (with the head nod)" "massage!" "come onnnnn" "stop (said to men trying to enter/exit car before girls)" "dayummmmmmmmm"  but it was really cool to see thomas' attitude progress throughout the week.  the last day he even said he was upset because we were leaving.  which was bitter because we were leaving but sweet because he actually cared. below is thomas and i thuggin it up at tacos after the clinic. 

but onto the important stuff. the things i learned about while in mexico.  i got to see the mom's handling their kid's adversity and the adversity of their economic standing.  these people lived on around $35 a week with kids having disabilities.  one mom and grandma stood out from the rest. their son was named emmanuel and had severe c.p.  he was 22 and constantly in the fetal position because of the severity.  he couldn't communicate at all and by all appearances didn't know what was going on.  his mom held him like a baby because he wasn't much bigger than one and essentially had to be treated like one.  but every morning that we picked them up, mom and grandma came out just giggling and smiling about who knows what.  but really.  by american standards, what did they have to giggle and laugh about?  they had nothing to their name except a downtrodden home and a severely disabled kid.  but their joy was undeniable and that was so... encouraging? different? surprising?

the other cool thing was the fact that we actually made a difference.  i was semi skeptical about the impact the trip would have because sometimes short term missions seem more about the people serving than the actual service.  which is not bad but i wanted to get my hands dirty and do something.  there was a noticeable improvement in the conditions of some of the kids by the end of the week which would help increase their ability to function.  and more important than that was the interactive impact.  when we dropped off saul on thursday night for the last time, he sat in the driveway and cried because he didn't want us to go.  we went inside to his home at his mom's urging and he just sat there hugging us and holding back tears.  we were obviously a highlight of saul's life.  and i don't mean that lightly.  

there is so much more to say but that'll suffice for now. to scratch the surface. mexico was great because as much as we made an impact in the lives of those kids and their families, they made an equal impact on me. 

"we are not made for the mountains, for sunrises, or for the other beautiful attractions in life - those are simply intended to be moments of inspiration.  the true test of our spiritual life is in exhibiting the power to descend from the mountain" 

~ my utmost for His Highest