take yourself on a little trip sometime soon. find a nice quiet place, preferably dimly lit, possibly with a glass of red wine or, even better, martinelli's, and ask yourself why.
why am i friends with "whats-his-face"?
why am i attending college?
why do i feel the desire to date someone?
why am i nice?
why, why, why.
and when you have answered any of the above questions or others that come to mind, then ask yourself why you came up with that answer.
for instance:
q: why am i attending college?
a: i want a good job
q: why do i want a good job?
a: because i want to be able to make money
q: why do i want to make money?
a: so that i can support myself and my family?
q: why do i feel the need to support myself & why am i presupposing having a family?
a: shut up.
if you are anything like me, you may end up down a few rabbit holes and paths that lead to the conclusion that i only care about myself and nearly everything i do allows me security in myself. my friends support me and validate my importance which is a form of security. i want a job so i have money so i am self-sufficient so others look up to me, giving me power and security. etc etc etc.
there is light at the end of the tunnel, but sometimes i think we are too frightened to even enter the tunnel of why.
