Was that it?

     Welp college is ending. As I sit here studying for my last final, I took a couple seconds to reflect. I remember back to freshman year and hearing everything that was said about the next 4 years. People said: live it up, yolo, become a new person... etc etc. I distinctly remember hearing all the time from my peers, "Yeah, my parents said college was the best time of their life." And what I could sense was the anticipation of all that college would bring.
     And yeah, college brought the hammer. Not gonna lie. Some incredible things happened, and also some incredible challenges came and were overcome. But I believe what I experienced and what you guys also experienced was more of a confirmation than a life change. As I sit here in this library and once again hear the conversations of the seniors around me like I did when I was a freshman, I get a sense of worry from them. Worry that they didn't live it up enough. Worry that they didn't do all that they thought or imagined. Worry that the best part of their life is now concluding. While they will never admit it if questioned, but from what I observe they are already asking themselves, "Was that it?" Yeah buddy that was it.
     You see, what was confirmed was something that was believed upon us by faith from our high school years. What got confirmed these last 4 years was that being a follower of Jesus is the best way to live. Bar none. To be honest, I did not change a whole lot over my college career. And by that I mean that my decision to follow Christ never changed. I didn't become someone new or have a major epiphany or do the greatest thing in the world..... because the greatest thing in the world had already been done in my life when I chose to walk in His footsteps. These past 4 years have been nothing but Christ showing off to me just a little slice of all that he can do.
    While it is tremendously hard to be leaving undergrad with all the friends and memories made, there is a sense of hope and excitement inside of me. God absolutely blew my mind for the past four years showing that His way is the best adventure of all.....What in the world is He gonna do for the next 50? (Lord willing) What makes me sad is all these fellow seniors around me who don't know my joy. They thought college could bring them what they were looking for. I pray they find the One who can bring exactly that to them.

So was that it?            Yeah it was.....for college.

But I didn't live for college. I live for Christ and I know that an even bigger adventure is about to begin.
   

why?

take yourself on a little trip sometime soon.  find a nice quiet place, preferably dimly lit, possibly with a glass of red wine or, even better, martinelli's, and ask yourself why.

why am i friends with "whats-his-face"?
why am i attending college?
why do i feel the desire to date someone?
why am i nice?
why, why, why.

and when you have answered any of the above questions or others that come to mind, then ask yourself why you came up with that answer.

for instance:
q: why am i attending college?
a: i want a good job
q: why do i want a good job?
a: because i want to be able to make money
q: why do i want to make money?
a: so that i can support myself and my family?
q: why do i feel the need to support myself & why am i presupposing having a family?
a: shut up.

if you are anything like me, you may end up down a few rabbit holes and paths that lead to the conclusion that i only care about myself and nearly everything i do allows me security in myself.  my friends support me and validate my importance which is a form of security.  i want a job so i have money so i am self-sufficient so others look up to me, giving me power and security. etc etc etc.

there is light at the end of the tunnel, but sometimes i think we are too frightened to even enter the tunnel of why.